I got triggered today

I had 3 follicles today that were 21, 23 and 15. We decided to have a trigger shot in hopes that the 15 will grow enough to release. DH said that if we had 3 follicles that were big enough we would have an IUI, but then he changed his mind lol. Within the next few months we plan on having an IUI with Gonal-F. However plans can change, so who knows what will actually happen. I'm hoping that we don't have to worry about it and I will get pregnant, but yeah right if it hasn't happened by now it probably never will. You are probably wondering why I even try if that's how I think, but I guess it's because maybe just maybe I have a little bit of hope. I forgot to ask how thick my lining was, but 2 days ago it was 6.8 so I'm hoping it has gotten thicker. I sometimes wonder if my lining is too thin. The doctors say it's fine but I'm not sure since it seems like the majority of women who I have seen online have linings that are way thicker than mine like 9, 10, 11, 12.

Femara has given me 2 mature follicles

I was at the fertility clinic this morning for cycle monitoring. I have 2 mature follicles that are both 17mm, the clinic says anything over 16 is mature. I also have another little one at 13.   If it matures we will have an IUI. I have had 2-3 follicles in the past and I haven't gotten pregnant, so I don't have high hopes of anything happening this cycle. My lining was 6.8 which I think is too thin, but my doctor said it's good. I'm going back on Sunday to check on my progress. Femara usually causes my follicles to grow very fast. Once one of them grew 4mm in a day! By Sunday who knows how much more they will grow. 

I Just Renewed My FF Membership :(

Back in June 2011 I bought the fertility friend VIP membership 6 month package. I thought for sure that I would get pregnant and wouldn't need to renew my membership, but obviously that didn't happen so I renewed my membership for a year thinking for sure I wouldn't need to renew it again, but boy was I wrong. Time kept passing and month after month I got AF. Yesterday FF reminded me that I only had 4 days left of my membership, so of course I renewed it for another year which had me in tears because this time I know a year will go by without me getting a bfp. If it hasn't happened yet, I doubt it ever will.

I have been a very bad blogger, and I am sorry for not being around as much. My fertility struggles have been depressing the hell out of me and I have been pretty distant from everything. Things that once interested me no longer do. I am constantly suffering and am always asking the same question, WHY? I just can't figure out WHY it's not happening. I have speculations, but I don't have a definitive answer which is driving me bonkers. If only I knew what the problem was maybe I could fix it. I believe that everything happens for a reason so there must be a reason why this isn't happening. I will not except that sometimes things just don't happen without a reason, there's always a reason. My speculation is that my eggs are too bad to be fertilized and that my uterus and hormone levels are too bad for implantation to happen. I have a short luteal phase which makes me think implantation can't happen, progesterone hasn't gotten me pregnant. My FSH is on the high side for my age, it's 10.7. My AMH is also too low at 1.2 (sorry, I'm not sure what the measurement is). On the paper I got it said I have low ovarian reserve. My AFC is always low. Early menopause runs in my family, and with my numbers I'm sure I am following in the same path. My doctor says that the edges of my eggs may be too thick for the sperm to penetrate them.

I haven't been able to go to the fertility clinic for the past couple of months because I was too sick with the flu. I'm better now and am going back. I was there on Saturday for cycle day 3 blood work and an ultrasound. I'm not sure how my blood work is, but I will find out when I go back tomorrow. I had a total of 9 follicles, 3 on the left and 6 on the right. My plan this cycle is to take 7.5mg of Femara and TI. I'm taking a break from progesterone for awhile because I want to see if my luteal phase is getting longer. In January I'm pretty sure it was 14 days, but since I only based ovulation on EWCM, I'm not sure if it really was 14 days. The next cycle it was 11 days. I started drinking milk and gave up soda, but then on the cycle where my LP was 11 days I wasn't drinking milk and started drinking soda again. I can't drink milk when I'm sick. I'm wondering if the milk increased it? I'm going to start drinking more milk and see if it gets any longer. Maybe I do have a vitamin B deficiency and milk has a lot of it.

I'm not sure what my future plans are, but for now it's cycle monitoring and Femara.

I may have ovulated during my period

Well, I'm not sure when I exactly ovulated, but I know I have ovulated before today, cycle day 10. Looking at my chart, it appears that I may have ovulated on cycle day 3!!!! I'm so confused. I didn't even think that it was possible to ovulate during your period. On cycle day 3 I had 4 antral follicles. They don't start to test progesterone until day 10. I have read that you can have antral follicles during your luteal phase, so it's possible by then I ovulated. I went in today for my cycle day 10 ultrasound and they told me that I had no measurable follicles, but I had 5 of them. I was confused because usually by cycle day 10 I'm ready to trigger. Well, a couple hours after I got home the nurse called me to say that my progesterone was high and that I already ovulated. I don't know what is going on or how this is even possible. I am very worried about myself and really think that there is something desperately wrong with me. Mind you I did take a very high dose of Femara last cycle which could explain why I ovulated super early this cycle. Maybe it lingered into my next cycle? 

I'm a bit worried because I'm going on a trip for 8 nights on January 19. I was thinking my cycle wouldn't be so weird and that I could control AF so I wouldn't see the witch during my trip, but it looks like I may be out of luck. The nurse told me to come in tomorrow to get progesterone and then come in 2 weeks for a pregnancy test. I don't think I have a chance this cycle. I'm going to take progesterone for 12 days starting tomorrow. Hopefully, it will delay AF and I won't get it when I'm away. We are going on a Caribbean cruise and I want to spend my time in a bathing suit and not stuck in my room the whole time rocking back and forth in pain. AF is torturous for me. 

For the first time ever, I don't think Progesterone is working

For the past few days my temperature has been steadily dropping. It is making me think that my period is going to come even though I'm on Progesterone. I have never got a period while on Progesterone before, but there is always a first for everything, well except for getting pregnant LOL. If Progesterone doesn't hold off AF anymore, I guess that would be okay since I am 13dpo. I normally would have stopped it by now, but I'm taking it longer because I don't want to have AF for my trip next month. That would suck!

On 10dpo I saw a lot of blood while wiping. I don't know what that was all about. I have had light spotting during my lp in the past, but I have never seen that much blood. I'm going to guess it was from the progesterone. I'm 100% sure it wasn't implantation bleeding because it's so rare. I'm also 100% sure I'm infertile and will never be able to have a child of my own. I don't know if I should take a pregnancy test or not. I don't want to waste the test.

I haven't ovulated yet

Usually the ultrasound technicians say nothing about anything to me. I always have to wait to see the doctor before I know what's going on. When your follicle(s) reach 16mm they use water as a lubricant. Usually you have to go in for ultrasounds starting on day 10 but because I ovulate stupidly early on medication, they tell me to come in on day 8. This cycle I didn't go in on day 8 because I was too sick to get out of bed. I asked the technician to use water just in case she thought that day 10 was too early for mature follicles and used lubricant. I then told her how they called me yesterday and told me that I was surging and to come back today for an ultrasound to see if I ovulated or not. After she was done the ultrasound she looked at me and said that my follicle from yesterday was still there. I was a bit concerned that TI was going to be too late this month, but I'm still in the running (HAHAHAHAHA....yeah right). Me get pregnant? PALEASE! 

My follicle today was 27mm and my lining was 7.1mm. The doctor of the day told me that sometimes an egg can release from a follicle but then the follicle seals up and stays around making it hard to know if you have actually ovulated or not. He told me that if my progesterone indicated that I ovulated that I would have to come back tomorrow to see if the follicle was gone. They called me around 2pm to tell me that I was still surging and my progesterone was still down. The nurse, who I absolutely adore, told me to have fun and come back on the weekend to check for ovulation. I usually go back a day or 2 after ovulation, but this time it will be 4-5 days after ovulation. I'm curious to know how thick my lining will be that far after ovulation. My hopes is that it gets thicker and isn't too thin. 

I'm Ovulating, ON CYCLE DAY 9!!!!

We got up at 630 this morning to go to the fertility clinic. I'm quite mad at the woman who took my blood this morning. She needed to take blood from my hand, but she didn't use a butterfly needle. She used a regular sized needle so now my hand has been hurting quite a bit all day. It's funny how I love everyone who works at that place except for the people who take blood. They are not very nice.

After I got my blood taken I went to get an ultrasound done. I have 1 follicle at 26mm. My lining was 6.1mm. He told me to give it one more day and then trigger tomorrow, but the nurse called and said I'm ovulating. I have been getting ovary pain and EWCM since CD7. I thought that I was just crazy and imagining things, but I guess I wasn't. The nurse said to come back tomorrow for an ovulation check which is weird because usually they tell me to wait for 2 days and then come back.

This is going to be a very short cycle which may not be a good thing because we are going away in January and I would HATE to be on AF during it. Thankfully I have lots of progesterone which will help me control my periods somewhat.