Cycle Day 12 Monitoring Appointment and Random Stuff

We got up early to go to our home away from home, the fertility clinic. I had the usual poking and probing done. My dominant follicle was 23mm today, so it grew 2mm in 1 day which is normal. The doctor told me to get HCG today and then come back for my IUI, which is weird because I told them that I didn't want to do an IUI if I had less than 2 mature follicles. He asked me if I wanted to wait for one more day to see if my other little follicle catches up and I said sure, but I doubt it will be anywhere near mature since it was only 12mm. My body, however, sometimes does some crazy weird things so it is possible that the 12mm could grow but very unlikely. Regardless of what happens tomorrow, we will have the trigger shot. The only way that won't happen is if I surge on my own. I haven't been using my monitor or OPK's, but the clinic checks LH every day so they will call me when and if I surge. I may pee on a stick today anyway just for fun lol.

My lining today was 7.2mm which is normal, but still worries me that it's never in the double digits. I have read that birth control can thin your lining and since I was on it for 7 years, that could be what's causing it to be thinnish. I also wonder if it's thin because of my low ovarian reserve issues. A year ago when we did Gonal-F my lining went over 11mm, so I was sure that my last cycle on Gonal-F it would be the same, but it was only 6mm. A year ago while I was taking Gonal-F I was also taking baby aspirin and wondered if that had anything to do with my thick lining. Since my lining last cycle was thin and I wasn't taking baby aspirin, I'm thinking that maybe it was the baby aspirin that made my lining 11mm and not the Gonal-F. I started taking baby aspirin again about 5 days ago and I'm hoping that I will see a difference in my lining within the next few cycles. My original blood work with the fertility clinic showed that I have thick blood which may be why my lining is thin, and if that's the case, baby aspirin every day should fix that problem.

It really worries me that a year ago I responded well to Gonal-F, but now I don't. I'm hoping that every cycle is different, but I have a gut feeling that my body is what's different and I won't respond well to injections again. This is one of the concerns that I will bring up at the IVF information session on Tuesday. I also found out that this session is 3 hours long! What could they possibly talk about for 3 hours?

I called the clinic when I got home to see how I go about getting all of my lab results, and the nurse said that she would have a copy of my cycle monitoring history tomorrow when I go in. She also said that I could request my whole chart with the receptionist and that I could get it in about 5 days. I don't know why, but I'm a little obsessed when it comes to numbers. I want to go through all of my history at the fertility clinic to see if and how things have changed since I started going there 1.5 years ago. I'm also going to make a page on my blog with all of DH's and my test results so other women can compare if they want.

I'll be back tomorrow to give you another update.

Cycle Monitoring Update

It turns out that my little follicle didn't make it. I now only have one follicle that is 21mm. It grew 3mm in one day. I'm not sure if the Gonal-F that I took yesterday did that or if it would have happened anyway. Since I only have 1 follicle, we will not be having an IUI this cycle. The doctor of the day told me to come back tomorrow morning and if I don't surge we will trigger, but I'm not sure if I want the trigger. There's no point in having it really, unless the doctor is afraid that the follicle will get too big and turn into a cyst. Now that HCG is covered 80% it won't be so bad getting it. It will just be annoying because we have to pay up front and then mail the receipt to the insurance company. It took them about 2 weeks to give us our money back from the last Gonal-F cycle. I'm so happy that fertility drugs are now 80% covered. It will make IVF a lot cheaper especially since I'm a poor responder and will need more drugs than the average person.

I'm a little worried about IVF. There aren't many success stories out there from women who have low ovarian reserve. I'm afraid that once they retrieve eggs (if they do retrieve any), that they will all be crap. I guess only time will tell. I'm also afraid that I won't respond to the medicine properly. Medicine seems to make 1 follicle grow very fast instead of making them grow all together. I found out that there is no waiting list for IVF like I thought there would be. After our information session we have to make an appointment with the IVF co-ordinator and then it's just a matter of waiting for AF to show up to start the cycle. I have an appointment with my doctor on May 29, so I'm hoping we can start IVF in June or July. Actually I'm hoping we don't need it at all, but I don't think getting pregnant is going to happen naturally for us, unfortunately :(

High FSH on Day 3 and Cycle Monitoring Day 10 Update

I went to the clinic this morning for my usual checkup and got a bruise from the blood test that  matches my other 2 bruises from this cycle lol. They can never find a vein in my arm so they always take it from my hand. You should see all of the scars I have on my hands from all the blood tests I have had in the last 1.5 years at the fertility clinic.

For whatever reason the ultrasound technician was very rough with the ultrasound probe. It felt like she shoved it in me as hard as she could and was very rough when the probe was in. Usually all of the technicians are very gentle and take their time, but not this lady. She has always been kind of rough with the probe, but today she was worse.

After the ultrasound was over I saw the doctor of the day, Dr. Jizz. (his nickname). He said I have one mature follicle at 18 mm and 1 other follicle at 16mm. He told me to come back tomorrow and every day until I ovulate. I didn't ask for my lining but I'm sure it was crap. I'll make sure to ask what it is tomorrow. DH said that depending on what the 16mm follicle does tomorrow that we will have an IUI. If it grows and matures that's our plan.

I also asked what my FSH on CD3 was and to my disappointment it was a whopping 11.9, the highest it has ever been :( My clinic says that anything over 11 is high. I'm only 30 so this is definitely concerning me. My FSH is 11.9, my AMH is 1.2 (probably lower now), and my AFC ranges from 4-12. I have been noticing that my AFC is declining. It hasn't been higher than 9 since the fall which depresses me since this can't be good for IVF. I want to have another AMH test, but it costs $85 so we will probably wait until July because that will be a year since we had it last. I'm afraid of seeing a huge decline on that number because my AFC was higher when I had the AMH test last.

Why can't my body be normal? Will I ever have children? I have wanted a baby since I came off of birth control over 3 years ago. We have been doing everything we possibly can do to get pregnant and nothing is working. If I was a normal person I would probably be TTC # 3 right now. Lately I have been so sad and don't know how to get out of this depression.

I'll blog again tomorrow to give you an update on my cycle. Fingers crossed my 16mm follicle grows and we do an IUI this cycle. I feel like our chances are better with an IUI than timed intercourse.

Cycle Day 8 Follicle

I usually go to get monitored on cycle day 10, but because sometimes medication makes me ovulate early I go in on cycle day 8 on medicated cycles. It turns out that I didn't need to come in early this cycle because I only have 1 small follicle at 13mm. I usually have more than 1 this early, so I'm hoping that it doesn't disappear and other ones appear. The doctor of the day told me to come back on Wednesday. I forgot to ask for my cycle day 3 FSH and other lab numbers. I'm going to see if they can give me a print out of all my cycles that were monitored and all of my blood test results with DH's SA's. I don't have much hope for this cycle, or any future cycle for that matter. I'm having a very bad day, actually I have been depressed since last week and I can't seem to snap out of it :(

My IUI with injections failed :( Now waiting for IVF.

Well, my 5th IUI cycle didn't work. Deep down I knew it wouldn't work, but I still wanted to take the chance. I was really hoping that I would have had a better response to the injections and that after taking a multi vitamin and quitting smoking DH would have a better post was sperm count than usual, but neither of those things happened and worst of all I got AF :( For whatever reason my LP was only 9 days even with progesterone support. I don't think that I took enough progesterone (200mg/day) and I also don't think that I started it early enough. I usually start it on 2 dpo or whenever the clinic tells me to, but this time something came up and I couldn't start it until 5dpo. I didn't think that would matter, but obviously it has. I wasn't sure if it was the HCG shot or the Femara that gave me a normal LP of 16 days, but since I didn't take Femara last cycle I'm assuming that it was the Femara that was responsible.

I'm on CD5 right now and on my 3rd day of Femara. I went for monitoring on CD3 and what a nightmare that was since AF was extremely heavy that day. Let's just say it got kind of messy LOL. TMI, but when I was finished there was blood all over my legs and paper gown they gave me, it was quite messy. The ultrasound tech said that the next time I should empty my bladder before the ultrasound to avoid the messiness. And of course I only had 7 follicles :( 4 on my right and 3 on my left. My AFC is always so low which concerns me when it comes time for IVF. The doctor prescribed me my usual 7.5mg of Femara so I'm hoping that 2 of those 7 follicles mature. Sometimes Femara makes me ovulate 2 follicles which is odd since women online have said that Femara is usually prescribed to people who want to avoid multiples. So, the medication that's not supposed to give you more than 1 mature follicle does and the injections that are supposed to give you more than 1 doesn't? What's wrong with that picture? If I do happen to get more than 1 mature follicle DH has agreed to do another IUI this cycle. The chances of it working are slim, but chances of timed intercourse working are even slimmer. I go back on Monday for a follicle check and blood work. They usually tell patients to come in on CD10, but because I sometimes ovulate before that I go in on CD8.

Our IVF information session is on May 7 and I made an appointment to see my RE on May 29. I would have made it for sooner but he's away for like 4 weeks that month :( After the IVF information session we are going to do IVF as soon as we can. However, after doing some research I have noticed that some women are put on IVF waiting lists which would really suck. One of them waited for 7 months! Because of my low ovarian reserve, I don't have much time to be waiting. I have noticed that my AFC keeps getting smaller and smaller which isn't good at all. I have no idea if my clinic has a waiting list or not. I guess I will find out on the 7th. If IVF doesn't work, then I have no idea what we will do. Probably start the adoption process.

IUI cycle 5 part 2.

I had my second IUI today. The doctor of the day was Dr. C. Every time this guy does something to me it hurts and today wasn't any different. My IUI hurt and I had some cramping for about an hour after.

 DH's sperm count was worse than yesterday after the wash it was 1.7 million and 42% motility. Before the wash his count was 61 million/ml and 21% motility and his volume was 1.1. Usually that's all the information they give us, but this cycle they added more numbers to his analysis, numbers that I have never heard of. I'm not sure what they mean and google isn't being very helpful lol. Here's what they were:

Progressive (A+B): 38% 
Track Velocity (VCL): 47 μm/s 
Linear Velocity (VSL): 17.3 μm/s 
Path Velocity (VAP): 23.5 μm/s 
Lateral Head Amplitude (ALH): 2.5 μ m 
Linearity (VSL/VCL): 36.6%
Straightness (VSL/VAP) 73.6% 
Beat Frequency (BCF): 8 Hz 

My IUI Experience

Today I had my 7th IUI (5 cycles). Sometimes IUIs can be painful and uncomfortable for me, but today I felt no discomfort or pain at all so that was good. We were going to do the semen sample at home, but the weather was so horrible that we weren't sure if we could get it there within the time period. I think they say that it has to be there within 45 minutes of producing the sample. After that we came back home we had to leave 30 minutes later to go back for the IUI. I asked the doctor if we could do a back to back IUI and at first she said that there's no point because they recently discovered that it doesn't make a difference, but then she looked at DH's semen analysis and said because it was low that she would have no problem with letting us do another IUI tomorrow. I'm happy that I can have another IUI, but a bit concerned about the SA. Before the wash the concentration was 20 million with 25% motility, and after the wash the concentration was 6.5 million with 49% motility. That's kind of low I think. I know that the normal motility is above 50% pre wash, so 49% post wash scares me a little. I'm not sure of his exact numbers because I only looked at the paper for a couple of seconds, but I'm certain that his post wash was 6.5 million with 49% motility.  I'm curious to see if it's any better tomorrow. I also found out that my lining was very thin yesterday. It was 6mm. I know they say that anything over 6mm is good, but I am not okay with that number. I hate how we always end up with borderline low numbers because I know that it's affecting us, but the doctors don't seem to think having borderline low numbers is a problem. Clearly it is a problem or I would have been pregnant by now. Since I didn't respond to the medication this month had a thin lining and with DH's low count, I think it's safe to say that this cycle is a bust already. The doctor of the day said that I won't need progesterone because I had an HCG shot, but I was under the impression that you always need progesterone with injections. Because I have had progesterone issues in the past and a luteal phase defect, I am going to take progesterone this cycle anyways. They are so disgusting and gross, so It was amazing to have a break from them for awhile. I'm going to pee on a pregnancy test on 14DPO. That should be enough time for the HCG to be out of my system. Last cycle I tested on 13DPO and the test was stark white, so I'm pretty sure 14DPO will be accurate. The nurse told me to come back on April 26 for a pregnancy test, but I never make it to the date they give me. Usually they tell you to come back for an ultrasound and blood test the day after the IUI, but this cycle they said there was no point since I had an HCG shot. This clinic always changes their policies lol. It's a bit annoying because I never know what's going on when I go there and they expect me to know all of the changes without ever telling me.

I will be back tomorrow to give an update about my second IUI.