High FSH on Day 3 and Cycle Monitoring Day 10 Update

I went to the clinic this morning for my usual checkup and got a bruise from the blood test that  matches my other 2 bruises from this cycle lol. They can never find a vein in my arm so they always take it from my hand. You should see all of the scars I have on my hands from all the blood tests I have had in the last 1.5 years at the fertility clinic.

For whatever reason the ultrasound technician was very rough with the ultrasound probe. It felt like she shoved it in me as hard as she could and was very rough when the probe was in. Usually all of the technicians are very gentle and take their time, but not this lady. She has always been kind of rough with the probe, but today she was worse.

After the ultrasound was over I saw the doctor of the day, Dr. Jizz. (his nickname). He said I have one mature follicle at 18 mm and 1 other follicle at 16mm. He told me to come back tomorrow and every day until I ovulate. I didn't ask for my lining but I'm sure it was crap. I'll make sure to ask what it is tomorrow. DH said that depending on what the 16mm follicle does tomorrow that we will have an IUI. If it grows and matures that's our plan.

I also asked what my FSH on CD3 was and to my disappointment it was a whopping 11.9, the highest it has ever been :( My clinic says that anything over 11 is high. I'm only 30 so this is definitely concerning me. My FSH is 11.9, my AMH is 1.2 (probably lower now), and my AFC ranges from 4-12. I have been noticing that my AFC is declining. It hasn't been higher than 9 since the fall which depresses me since this can't be good for IVF. I want to have another AMH test, but it costs $85 so we will probably wait until July because that will be a year since we had it last. I'm afraid of seeing a huge decline on that number because my AFC was higher when I had the AMH test last.

Why can't my body be normal? Will I ever have children? I have wanted a baby since I came off of birth control over 3 years ago. We have been doing everything we possibly can do to get pregnant and nothing is working. If I was a normal person I would probably be TTC # 3 right now. Lately I have been so sad and don't know how to get out of this depression.

I'll blog again tomorrow to give you an update on my cycle. Fingers crossed my 16mm follicle grows and we do an IUI this cycle. I feel like our chances are better with an IUI than timed intercourse.