My First IUI Failed :(

I don't know why, but half way through my luteal phase I had a very strong feeling that my very first ever IUI didn't work. Sure enough, I was right! AF came 2 days ago. I don't understand why it didn't work. I have been trying to figure out why every day. I can't get it out of my head. I keep obsessing. I just don't understand why a perfectly timed IUI didn't work. DH said we just weren't lucky this time. I hope he's right and we get lucky soon. 


Last month I was on 5mg of Femara for 5 days. I had an HCG trigger shot and of course progesterone suppositories. This month I will be starting Gonal-F injections for the very first time. I am quite nervous about the injections. Not because of the needle, but because of the side effects. Clomid gave me cysts, and I am afraid that Gonal-F will give me even more cysts. I have read of women having kidney failure from this stuff. Being the hypochondriac that I am, that scares the living hell out of me. The doctor prescribed me a 900IU pen that we will pick up tomorrow. We didn't pick it up today because they wanted to make sure my blood work came back normal from today. 


I had a cycle day 2 baseline ultrasound today. For the first time in a long time I have no cysts. I guess the Clomid is completely out of my body. My AFC last cycle was so low which had me very worried. It was only 6 between both ovaries. The doctor didn't seem concerned about it, but I was. Anyway, I was happy that this cycle it was 12. That's the highest AFC I have ever had. Hopefully, the Gonal-F will mature some of them. I would love to see more than one mature follicle for once. I would feel like there was a better chance if I had more than one mature follicle. Clomid or Femara didn't work, so hopefully this stuff will. The clinic never called me back today, so I will have to wait until Monday to find out what my E2 and FSH was today.


I am hoping that this cycle is the one and we get our BFP and a healthy baby! I need to keep writing because I'm going insane and need to do something about it. Journaling is therapeutic.