I Did It.

I went to the hospital yesterday to meet my new cousin, and it went better than expected. I was not sad at all when I was there. When I was holding the baby, it was like infertility escaped my mind. Not once while holding her did I think of how hard it is for DH and I to have a baby, all I could think of was her and how much I loved her. She is very tiny and it was amusing to watch the movements she was making like opening her eyes and mouth. She was tightly wrapped in a blanket and from time to time her little arm would pop out of it. I am very surprised at how well I did. I thought for sure that I would have a breakdown, but not once did I get sad, in fact I was quite happy. I didn't want to put the baby down. I would have stayed there all day and night if I could lol. I am actually tempted to go back there today, but I'm not because it's too far.  So, what I thought was going to be a bad day turned out to be a good day and I'm very proud of myself for not going insane.

What is making me insane, however, is this damn Lupron. WHERE THE HECK IS AF? Why isn't she here yet? She should have been here days ago. I am 13dpo and this is unusual for me. I am starting to get a bit worried that AF has gone away and won't come back. If she's not here by next week I have to contact my nurse to see what I need to do.  This is making me quite anxious. For the last couple of days I didn't want to take my medicine, but DH won't let me not take it. I guess I will just have to be patient and wait for AF.