My Progesterone Test Was Normal!

I just called my FS to make an appointment. I asked the secretary if she could take a look at my 7dpo progesterone test, and I'm shocked because it was actually normal without taking progesterone. I'm not sure why my luteal phase is going to be short this cycle if my progesterone was normal. I guess that's something to ask my doctor when I see him next Tuesday. Anything above 10 is normal and mine was 15.1. I know that is still a little low since most women I have met online have a progesterone level that is way higher than that, but I'm still happy with my 15.1 since it's way higher than 2.2.

This is Going to be a Short Cycle

I guess my progesterone test was pointless. I know it's going to be low since my temperature dropped today and I'm having some pms signs. My mood is all over the place. The other day I was depressed, yesterday I was hopeful and positive, and today I am just mad and angry. My hands are filled with needle marks and bruises from all of the blood tests. My butt hurts from where they injected the HCG. I'm having headaches from the Femara. All of the things I go through on a monthly basis is all for NOTHING and it pisses me off! How many more needles, medication, probes, suppositories, tests am I going to have to go through before I get pregnant and have a baby? I know that not many things in life are easy, but why does this have to be so hard?

Progesterone check tomorrow...YAY

I'm not on progesterone and haven't been for a while now. The last time I was being monitored I saw my doctor. The doctors change from day to day, so I was glad to see him. He told me to get a progesterone test tomorrow. I was on Femara, so it should be more than 15 to be normal. The last time it was 2.2. I would be thrilled to see anything above 10, the normal. I released 2 eggs, and our timing was good, but will it be. Probably not, but there's always next cycle.

For my next cycle I want a progesterone test while taking it.

Good Days and Bad Days

It's funny how some days are worse than others. Yesterday, for an example, was an awful day. I felt hopeless and sad. I told DH many of times that I was done and wanted to give up. I know that giving up is the wrong thing to do. If I give up, I will never even have a chance and still be sad with lots of regret. If I don't give up, however, there's always that slim possibility that it could happen. Even if it doesn't and I'm sad, I won't regret giving up. While I was at the surgeon's office yesterday, I saw baby pictures everywhere! The receptionist on the phone was very loud, and all I kept hearing her talk about was how far along women were, labour, and all kids of stuff related to pregnancies. I put my headphones in my ears and cranked up my music, but it still didn't help my sadness. On a good note, the waiting room wasn't as bad as I thought it was. It was quite small, and I only saw 3 pregnant women. Just like I predicted though, I broke out into tears in the waiting room. After seeing a very pregnant woman who was wearing a very tight black and white striped shirt. I have very bad vision. I'm blind in my right eye and don't have much peripheral vision at all. Normally it bothers me, but sometimes I don't mind having bad vision just because I can avoid looking at certain thing, isn't that horrible of me? Well, the point I'm trying to make is that I moved to another chair so she wasn't in my field of vision. Out of the 3 pregnant women there, she was the biggest and hardest to look at. I didn't have to wait for as long as I thought so that was good too. When we left the doctors I was VERY upset and couldn't stop crying and wondering. We went to the grocery store, and just as we were almost done and I wasn't that upset anymore, I saw someone who was very pregnant wearing a very tight top. This made me so sad that I started crying and ran out of the grocery store. I just couldn't bring myself to be there. I had a total meltdown and feel bad for DH since we had to go to another grocery store. I am overly sensitive and a bit crazy. TTC has been so difficult for me. I wish I could be stronger and not let this type of thing bother me.

Today I woke up in a better mood. I was more hopeful about the future and not depressed. I had to go to another doctor this morning and there were so many babies and toddlers in the waiting room. Most of the time this bothers me, but not today. I was totally okay with it. I was watching this little boy crawling everywhere with a big smile on my face thinking about how cute and funny it was to see him crawl. It's very weird how my mood can change from one day to the next. I wish I was always positive like I am today.

Fertility Friend Corrected Itself.

At first FF said I ovulated on day 9 which couldn't possibly be true. Today when I put in my temperature and removed my override, my ovulation date changed to cycle day 11 which is more accurate.

Fertility Friend is Wrong

According to FF I am 4dpo, but when I was at the doctors 2 days ago I hadn't ovulated. I always think my LP is too short, but what if it isn't? What if FF has always been off by a few days making me believe that it's was short. However, my 7dpo progesterone test was low, but I think I had it tested before I started getting monitored. Maybe I thought I was 7dpo because of FF, but wasn't? Wait, no that can't be right since it didn't add up with my monitor.  I'm going to make an appointment with my doctor soon and ask him if he can repeat the test.  I always have such weird temperatures which makes me think that sometimes FF isn't always right. I hardly ever use my monitor anymore and I don't use OPK's, I only go by what my chart, blood work, and ultrasounds say.

I'm going into the clinic tomorrow to see if I have ovulated and how many eggs were released. I hope all 3 of them did so DH's little guys had more targets. I just want this cycle to work because I'm tired and can't do this much longer. It's frustrating getting poked and probed every month with no results. I may need to have a laparoscopy which I REALLY want to avoid, so I better get pregnant quick.

Ovulating within 24 hours of getting the HCG shot.

Every time that I have been triggered, with the exception of once, I have ovulated within 24 hours of getting it. This concerns me a little since the doctors say it happens between 36-48 hours. If we do have IVF and they trigger me too soon, we would be out of a lot of money for the drugs. Since I have a low egg count, more money will be spent on meds than the average person, this could really suck. I have talked to different doctors at the clinic about this before and they told me not to worry about it, but I can't help to be worried. Yesterday I had the HCG around 830am and today my temperature sky rocketed. My EWCM has totally disappeared and the very painful ovulation pains that I have been having for the past few days are also gone. Yesterday we went out for dinner and the only thing I could think of was how badly my ovaries were hurting. I had 2 follicles on the left that were 21, 23mm. I had one on the right that was 15mm. I'm guessing that all 3 of them ovulated because shortly after the trigger shot my right side started to hurt more and more. The last time I had 3 follicles was on Gonal-F. I believe the Gonal-F was around $1300 and Femara is like $6 with insurance, Gonal-F isn't covered by insurance :(. i think it's funny how 2 differently priced drugs did the exact same thing to me. It's too bad that I never know what will happen with Femara. Most of the time it gives me one follicle, but once in awhile it gives me more. DH's work has changed insurance, so I'm very curious to see if any fertility medications are covered. Where I live there is no insurance company that covers infertility procedures like IVF and IUI's, but I know that some of them will cover medications. If we could get fertility medications covered, IVF would be half the price. Clomid isn't covered by insurance because it's only used for fertility, but Femara is covered because it can also be used for breast cancer. I'm hoping to find out within the next couple of weeks to know if the new insurance will cover anything fertility related.

PS,
I'm very sorry for any grammar mistakes I have made. I am horrible at writing.